The extraordinary ordinariness of unease

Photo: Barbie Robinson

Unease is a humble sensation. It does not have the drama of fear or the poignancy of grief. It is a lurking sensation in our bodies, an aversion or revulsion that does not command the respect that fear begets.

According to the ancient Natya Sastra text on ritual dance, Bibhatsa or the archetypal sensation of Revulsion/Aversion/Repugnance arises in situations where we encounter distasteful circumstances. In arises when we interpret the Reality which faces us as unaligned with what we have assumed as real and valued, based our pre-existing knowledge. We may be faced with a course of action that will bring us no benefits. We may even consider the situation sacrilegious.

A famous example of Bibhatsa is the archetypal warrior Arjuna when he is faced with having to battle his own family. Arjuna’s “vishada” or loss of heart requires an inquiry into the very circumstances that he wishes to flee as a solution to his predicament. And that is what we do when we encounter unease.

One of the women in my Individual Program described how we “consume” our way out of unease. She spoke of how the daily events of our times creates deep unease in many of us. And we are offered many escapes from unease—Netflix, social media, holidays and (my favourite consumption escape) chocolate cake! Like Arjuna we are prepared to do anything to escape the queasiness.

One of the most challenging responses in spiritual inquiry is when we feel unease. Unease is an elusive experience. At least when we are afraid, we can aspire to the nobility of courage and valour.

What do we do with unease? To solve unease with ease or comfort is not half as heroic as courage. And it seems a bit of a cop out!

Suffering is something that our Hubris values. We often speak of the inevitability of fear and suffering in spiritual inquiry. Indeed, a good dose of suffering is considered the mark of an effective spiritual inquiry! I recognise that some spiritual paths may emerge from great suffering, but it is also equally true that not all suffering leads to spiritual wisdom. So, suffering itself is not a necessity for spiritual inquiry.

Fear speaks to our consciousness more easily and loudly because we are fine tuned in our times to a fear-fueled existence. Unease on the other hand is a subtle sensation. In my experience it reveals more Truth than fear, especially in the ordinary movements of life. It does not offer us the heroic angst of fear, but it lurks nevertheless and signals a contention with the philosophies of our everyday existence. Unease arises we encounter Reality that is untethered in all our pre-existing knowledge and mastery-over-Reality assumptions.

Arjuna is also called Bibhatsa, or the manifestation of Aversion. As an archetype of self-inquiry as action in life, this indicates that unease or aversion is often both the cornerstone and an inevitability in self-inquiry.

Arjuna’s story holds valuable intelligence about Bibhatsa. Initially his mechanistic thinking proposes what appears legitimate reasons for his revulsion. He justifies it in moral, philosophical and dharma (duty) frameworks. It is only through inquiry that the root of Arjuna’s revulsion as resistance to the Reality unfolding in front of him is revealed.

Bibhatsa, when compared to fear, allows more space for inquiry. Like Arjuna, if we can possibly resist flight, including by seemingly definitive arguments from philosophy, morality and the like, Bibhatsa can gift us with radical possibilities. Indeed, what may seem impossible becomes Reality. In Arjuna’s own story, he fought against an army a hundred-fold his own and vanquished them.

The deity of Bibhatsa in Natya Sastra is Mahakala. Mahakala is a wild invocation—skanky like the mongrel dog which is his associated animal, fierce, and loyal. Mahakala is the deity of Time, both its finite nature as our life-time, and the infinity that emerges when Time dies. Dying to everything we know is Mahakala’s invitation.

Dying to what we know in inquiry is also Krishna’s invitation to Arjuna—“Become Me Arjuna”. This is an invitation to allow narratives of self and truth to fall away and to become the unfolding movement of Reality (Krishna), however uneasy that may be.

And it will inevitably be uneasy. Because our dance in life is the flow between our mechanistic impulses and the unknowability of Reality. In this dance there is bound to be unease. The unease, like everything else about Reality, including our minds, is divine. It holds teaching and intelligence. This is the Mahakala invocation. Even as the teaching may appear of no value or benefit in relation to what we already know, it is the unfolding Reality, which is Truth.

Mahakala is the archetype of our uneasy times. There is much to distract us from the disorder in our systemic approach to Reality through all our discourses. Like Arjuna we may feel like running away to a remote ashram and meditating our way out of this unease.

But we could possibly bear Mahakala’s company, He holds infinite possibilities beyond the tired and empty paradigms of the past.